Some things I never thought I’d say ~

All teenagers, however precocious, are shortsighted. It can’t be helped. As a teenager, I never would have thought I’d say any of these things.

  1. “I’ll have the broccoli.”
    (I’m not sure I ever saw broccoli until I left home. My mother never acknowledged its existence, or that of most other vegetables. I’m still confident I will never eat turnips, beets, rutabagas, chard, or many other healthful things. That goes double for kale, the celebrity vegetable du jour.)
  2. “I’m here to get my ears pierced.”
    (When I was in my mid-30s, two friends of mine finally dragged me to the mall to undergo this rite of passage. Convinced that it would hurt like hell, I’d never worked up the courage on my own.)
  3. “Okay, I’ll sing in the recital.”
    (I have terrible performance anxiety. In high school I had two mandatory piano recitals. Knowing I’d play worse if my parents were there, I banned them from attending either one.)
  4. “Let’s go ahead and color my hair.”
    (My parents derided women who tried to disguise their age by coloring their hair. Of course, that was before women of all ages, not to mention teenagers, began coloring their hair just for fun. When you don’t have much to feel good about physically, it’s a real boost to know that most people guess you’re at least 10 years younger than you really are. I’ll take it.)
  5. “Is a biopsy really necessary? It isn’t cancer.”
    (For years and years, before I began taking antianxiety medication, I was convinced that “it,” whatever it might be at the moment, was cancer. Unless it was heart disease.)
  6. “I do.”
    (I was adamant that I would never marry, although I wanted a lifelong relationship. I figured my soulmate and I would just live together. So why, when I was semi-proposed to, did I say okay, without any meaningful reflection whatsoever? Simple: I was still a teenager.)

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