4 thoughts on “Fholiage ~

  1. COMES NOW THE PLAINTIFF, WEST CALHOUN HILLBILLY (“HILLBILLY”) and, for a cause of action against the defendant, VAPOR AND FLOW, alleges as follows:

    . . .

    1. On February 18, 2018, VAPOR AND FLOW intentionally and maliciously committed a pun of horrible dimensions–specifically, “Fholiage” (“the Pun”).

    2. VAPOR AND FLOW knew or, in the exercise of reasonable diligence, should have known that the Pun would inflict physical and mental distress on HILLBILLY.

    3. By indicting the Pun, VAPOR AND FLOW proximately caused HILLBILLY to suffer physical and mental distress, including but not limited to weeping, screaming, and gnashing his teeth.

    4. The Pun has caused and will continue to cause HILLBILLY to lose interest in life and to pine for the sweet embrace of death, so that HILLBILLY will cease to remember the Pun and suffer searing pain therefrom.

    WHEREFORE, HILLBILLY prays that the Court enter judgment in favor of HILLBILLY, and against VAPOR AND FLOW, as set forth below . . .

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  2. Oh, cry me a river. VAPOR AND FLOW is well aware that HILLBILLY only intermittently reads this blog and thus was unlikely ever to encounter said pun, thus absolving VAPOR AND FLOW from any evil intent. Furthermore, VAPOR AND FLOW is also well aware that HILLBILLY has wantonly committed equally horrible puns of his own and, in addition, has enough years on him to be sufficiently pun-hardened to escape distress. Finally, VAPOR AND FLOW points out that HILLBILLY is an absurdly ass-umed identity and therefore the person represented by this alibi is de facto an uncredible plantiff. The Court will not entertain this case in any manner, not even with a little soft-shoe by the Judge leaving the bench.

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  3. Well, now, I’m just so hurt. Just for that, I ain’t a-gonna send you another barrel of my special Rocket Fuel Mash–Now with 50 Percent Less Raccoon!

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